Conclusion

I had found the True Church of God. No one had come after me and said “You are doing it wrong. Come with me and I will show you.” I had started this search on my own, and eventually, through an amazingly complicated and emotional journey, I found exactly what I was looking for: the Truth. God had brought me to where He wanted me to be. Looking back through my experiences, I can see why I went through each individual stage. I can understand why one day I was so convinced that God wanted me to be Catholic, and the next day I was equally convinced that that could not be the case.

Jesus said, “Behold I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” All God requires of us is that we search with fervour to find His Truth; if that is what we really want, He will bring us to it. If I can do this, then anyone can!

Throughout this text I have sought only to describe my personal experiences, thoughts and feelings. I have met many people along my journey who believe different things to what I have come to. I am not writing this to try to convince them that they are all wrong and need to come around to my way of thinking; I am simply being honest about where I stand, and why I stand here. I appreciate the help of everyone who has been with me along the way.

From the Baptist Church of my childhood, I gained my initial love for and appreciation of God. I learned the Scriptures. I made friends which I still have today, and I love them all for their help and support of me from when I was a child who had never set foot inside a church before.

From the COC, I have since met people who have shown me, in their weaker moments, that in their own way they really do love God and want to serve Him. I believe that they are in a very turbulent place, and pray that they make it through without the scars that I was left with. I do not believe that honest God-fearing Christians should be in an environment like that. I know that will upset some people, but I honestly believe that, if they were to step back and take a look at the bigger picture, they would see the irreverence the way I do. Life is not about having fun and coasting through while bringing God along for the ride. Our position is to worship Him, in awe of His Majesty. It is hard to do that when we are so busy preparing for party after party, all in the name of “church”.

I consider many of my friends in the Methodist Church to still be my dear friends, and appreciate their support through the years I spent with them. I believe that people who truly seek to worship God will understand why I had to leave them, and how I ended up here now.

Reverend Michael (not his real name) from the Presbyterian Church was a wonderful help to me, and I still consider him one of the most learned authorities on the Old Testament. It was the position of the Westminster Confession of Faith that I had a problem with, not the people of the Presbyterian Church. I wish them all well and thank them for their help.

The Sacred Name Movements, the Yisraelites, the Amish, Mennonites and all the other “breakaway” groups I studied with, I pray that they will find what they are looking for. God rewards our efforts when we search for Him. In this day and age we have the whole world at our mousepad (well, maybe not the Amish), and this is a blessing I am exceptionally aware of.

I met some wonderful Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I saw a lot of honest love for God in their group. However, their theology is built on heretical translations, an incorrect version of historical events and moderated by an organisation that I believe has ulterior motives.

I am thankful for the time I spent with Jews and Muslims, as I learned a great deal about two religions I had known very little about, and what I had known had been erroneous. I met so many people who love God with all their heart and mind and body and soul. I believe that we serve a merciful God, Who is gracious to all who love Him. That is enough for me to know on that score. There are some wonderful people out there, but God loves them all more than I am ever able to, and He will do what is right.

The Lutheran Church was my favourite. Pastor Adrian was so very helpful and the people there were wonderful. I appreciate his and their help more than I can express. When I realised that my search was not going to end at the Lutheran Church I was most unhappy. I cherish the memory of my time there and am thankful to God for having it.

The Roman Catholic Church; well I can see now why God took me through that experience. It was all paving the way for the true place He had prepared for me. Again, I learned a lot and appreciate the people who helped me. It is interesting, and perhaps sad, to note that every Catholic person that I spoke to after I had cancelled my annulment application, was extremely sorry for the experience I had. Every one of them begged me not to give up on God because of it. Even down to the moderator of the Catholic Daily email newsletter that I had signed up to: when I cancelled my subscription and got a standard reply email asking me to tick the box corresponding to the reason I had cancelled my subscription, I took the opportunity to write in the “Comments” section that I had earnestly sought to join the Catholic Church, but due to the fact that I had been married previously, I was unable to. The woman who ran the Newsletter emailed me back personally and asked me more questions about the process and why I was unable to go through with it. I told her about my family situation, and how contacting my ex-husband was simply not a safe option, not to mention the expense factor. She wrote back and urged me to continue to seek God, and to know that this horrendous experience was the fault of “the Church”, not of God. She was an inspiration to me and I am happy to see that there are people like that in the world.

There are many people who will, I know, be unhappy with what I have written about their particular religion or denomination. Again, please know that I did not write this to accuse anyone. I simply related my experiences. I am not an expert on every religious view I have talked about here; I can only tell you what I have seen with my own eyes, how that made me feel, and what that made me do.

For Beverly, Father John, Father Alexander, Tom, Andrew and Sarah, I thank God daily, and could not have gotten through this odyssey to this blessed place without all of them and their willingness to avail themselves to God’s will.

My Lord, I have finally found Your Truth and Your intended place for me. Now the real work can begin.